⊗ let's comfort our poor baby siblings
⊗ yeah! look after those kids... they can't be used to being away from your parents either
⊗ siblings sad need one billion kissies
You give The Spark and The Light a tired smile as they both run up to you again, eyes shining with worry. You wish you could give them better news, but 'stable' is all you have. You can't keep telling them he's getting better if he's not, after all.
You wish you'd at least been able to find the arm growers so you can treat him with medicine that helps; they're supposed to be common, but it's as if they all shrivelled up and died the second they heard someone needed to borrow some of their roots for helping someone. If you had those, then at least there'd be some good news for them to hear.
Is Papa doing any better today? The Spark asks anxiously, clutching at your leg.
What about Mama? The Light adds, pressing his paws to your tummy as he peers up at you. Is she doing okay?
I miss Mama, The Spark sniffs. The Amber is kinda scary but I guess she's nice. But she's not Mama.
Mama's doing okay, You say, patting her side with your tail tip as you rasp your tongue over her face, an imitation of what The Silky does with all of you. You plant a kiss on her forehead, then turn around to press one to The Light's face too. She'll be all better before we know it, and then you can hug her as much as you want.
Papa... He's still recovering. He's still stable, but... You flatten your ears. I haven't been able to find any of the medicine he needs. I'm sorry.
Maybe when Mama is all better, she'll be able to tell you a secret song that will lure arm growers from the ground, The Light opines. Then you'll be able to find all the roots Papa needs, and everything will be ok.
You blink a little, surprised by the idea of this - but, when you think about it, your siblings really aren't that old. It's not weird for them to still not have a full idea of how everything works, and The Light has especially liked stories so much. When you think about it, it doesn't surprise you that he would take cues from them for how the world should be.
You're sure you used to do that yourself - or, maybe you still do, and you just haven't realised some stuff is only in stories yet.
You give him an encouraging smile and nod. Yeah, maybe! It would be nice if she could sing plants we need to life, and it would make my job lots easier because I wouldn't have to go out hunting for them anymore.
You gotta exercise! The Spark frowns at you, folding her little arms. Mama says it's important. Otherwise you'll melt into a blob of puddle 'cause all your muscles left. It's healthy for you!
You definitely know that that's not how muscles work, but you're pretty captured by the way she's interpreted it from what she must have heard The Silky say.
That sounds pretty scary, Spark, You reply.
It is! She insists with a nod. That's why you're gonna be careful. Everyone's gotta exercise lots so they can stay healthy. Maybe Mama and Papa need to exercise more too. 'Cause they spent so much time in the shelter with us, and then they got sick.
But Mama also says getting all wet and not drying off before bed can make us sick, The Light frowns at her. And Wiwi told us before how you can strain your muscles from too much exercise! That's why xir back hurt that one day!
You laugh a little and scoop them both up in your arms, lifting them up. They're getting heavier with age, but you've also been getting stronger, so you can just about keep pace with them for now and keep carrying them.
Luckily, my back doesn't hurt now, so I can hold you both as long as I want. You tease them. The Spark wriggles in your hold a little, tail spinning, but she's just adjusting her position to settle in her arms. The Light just lets you hold him as you grabbed him, placid. Sometimes they squeal and kick in your arms, pretending they don't want to be hugged, but you're not really all that surprised that they don't want to play that game right now.
The Light sighs, tilting his head to rest it against your chest. I want Papa to be okay.
I know, Light, You make a small chirrup, trying to soothe. I do too. We all love him lots. Everyone in the clowder. So everyone wants him to be okay. We just gotta keep an eye out and make sure everything will go smooth. Then... He has to be okay.
You're not sure how much that was you convincing him, and you convincing yourself.
The Spark is quiet in your arms, pensive. She doesn't seem to be listening as much to your reassurances as you'd wish she would... She's so jumpy, you're not sure you really expected her to believe you, but...
Wiwi? She asks, eventually.
Yeah, Spark?
When I was visiting Mama and Papa yesterday, he was acting weird again. I don't know if he knew I was there. You were delivering something, The Little told me. You weren't there either. The Light was napping, so I didn't wake him up.
He sniffles a little. You have a feeling this has been something he's been complaining to her about since then.
While I was there, he said something weird. He said, um...
Yeah, Spark? What did he say? You ask encouragingly. You try not to show the tension you feel in your chest. It makes you wonder, that he's spilling secrets you've never heard in front of even your scaredy little sister.
Mama hushed them while they said it, so, so I don't know how much I heard right. But... She looks up at you with big eyes. It was about The Singer. Um, I think about looking for him. But I didn't see him wander off again since The Gull found him in the water. I was wondering if Papa meant, watching OUT for him. Do you know if he's gotta sickness...?
I'm not really sure, You reply hesitantly. I haven't seen any signs about it, I don't think. But I haven't been training for very long. And Little's told me that sometimes it takes a few months for that stuff to be clear. Though there can be signs that people can pick up. Maybe our dad found something like that?
You're not sure if that's what he means though, even if that's what Spark's interpreted it as. You know that your parents don't like The Rust, but he also loves The Singer to bits. So you guess that the more obvious thing would be if Singer was sick, but you're not totally convinced. The Little didn't tell you anything, and would they have told The Pale if not you?
...Well, now that you think about it, probably, 'cause he's the leader and you're not.
But still, it makes you wonder. What could that be about...?
⊗ let's go check on the singer! and ask the olive if she's noticed anything off about them.
When you peek in on the two of them where they've been on the camp clearing, you're fascinated to notice The Singer is biting The Olive's ear and pulling on it, hard. Despite the fact that this clearly has to hurt, she isn't saying anything, and in fact looks determined to not make even an expression different from her neutral, relaxed face, her body sprawled out on its side like she's just taking a sunbath.
The Singer keeps pausing on his tugging and looking at her, checking for her reaction - you're getting the impression this is some kind of battle of wills that neither of them is willing to give up. He's not biting down hard enough to make her ear bleed, so you guess if that's how she wants to play with him...? You're not totally sure this won't be teaching him to play roughly, but you guess The Rust wouldn't let him go around biting random people. Manners are important to him, after all.
Hi Olive, Singer, You say to them eventually, after watching this stalemate continue for a little longer. What are you doing?
Ah, hey kiddo. We're not up to much; just little old me telling Singer that I'm tough as metal. He doesn't believe me, can you believe that? The Olive looks at you. She doesn't exactly seem like her old lively self, but she seems a little less listless - you almost see a note of mischief to her eyes.
Maybe it's because this month, it's your turn to be downtrodden. But that makes it sound like it's her fault somehow, which of course it isn't. You're happy she's starting to feel a little better, and that The Singer seems to be helping distract her.
You wonder if The Bouncy has managed to find anyone like that. Something tells you that he hasn't. Actually, now that you're thinking about him... Off the top of your head, you can't actually remember when you last saw him around except when everyone is in the shelter. Definitely not this month, but that's a given. Haha, you know you haven't been paying much attention to anyone else this month.
You realise with a start that The Olive was still communicating, and is now looking expectantly at you. The Singer has even stopped biting her ear too in favour of sitting on top of her back, cocking their little head while staring at you.
Sorry, I missed that, You comb your face with your paws apologetically. Could you tell me what you said again?
Eh, it wasn't anything too pressing. She shakes her head in rotation, twisting her head from one tilt to the other, her ears flopping as she does. Just wondering what you were up to; of course I know how busy you've been all month, so I'm not gonna do something dumb like ask how you've been.
Oh, yeah. You nod. Yeah, she has a point - because you've been so stressed, you haven't had much time for other people. She's probably wondering what super important thing you might have for her to do, for you to come up to her right now.
Well, I just wanted to look in on The Singer. And I guess ask you how he's doing? If you've seen him acting weird or any stuff like that?
She looks at The Singer, and you follow her gaze. He's gotten bored of the conversation almost immediately and slid off of her back to prowl after a bug he found; it looks like some kind of curly bug, the insects that turn into a ball when stressed. He's waiting for it to uncurl and start scuttling, then pressing his paw on it to watch it wrap itself up again, and slowly chasing it further and further away from The Olive that way.
You'd be a little worried about the stress the insect is experiencing, but honestly you're pretty sure you remember doing similar things to bugs when you were a pup... So you guess it's just normal.
Him? Nah, I haven't seen the little tyke do anything but sprint around like the healthiest beast this side of the sky. She chuckles a little bit. 'Course, I'm not his dad or no queen either, so I couldn't really tell you in detail whether there's anything to be concerned about. I didn't notice anything like him only using one side more, but I'm not watching him all day and night, you know?
You tilt your head. That's true and a good point, but that makes you wonder more why your own dad was talking about this. Maybe The Silky had seen something and talked to him about it before privately? Something secret and non-obvious...
Why do you ask? The Olive adds, giving you a somewhat curious look. Did you come into some kind of thing? One of those weird dreams your little brother has which gives you a funny feeling? The Little mention something to ya?
Weee-eell, You reply, a little hesitantly. Not exactly any of that. It's just, you know how my dad's been sick and all confused, and he sometimes says stuff now he'd be keeping secret from us if he was better?
She perks her ears at you, definitely intrigued now, and nods.
My sister said she heard him talking about The Singer, and watching him or something.
Huh, okay. While The Olive does nothing more than give a neutral hum in response, thoughtful, the set of her ears, now half-cocked, is familiar.
You remember she used to do it all the time when you were still a pup and she was still a teenager, though she hasn't held them this way in a long while. Something about it makes you wonder if she knows more than she's letting on, though you don't know what she could possibly know. She didn't really say anything more than just that, and it's not like she's that much older than the other young adults. Your parents wouldn't have a reason to tell her anything special...
You stare at her a little expectantly, hoping your big wet eyes will get her to tell you more. If not, maybe your extremely tired stare and stress-ruffled pelt can do some wonders. You haven't been so well, after all. Would she really not tell you anything? This sad, bedraggled apprentice?
She sees you continuing to stare, and chuckles a little. Sorry, squirt. I don't have anything else to tell you. If The Little didn't tell you anything and Rust didn't tell you squat, then it's probably not something about the kid being sick. Or at least, I wouldn't reckon so. You could always try asking the kid himself, though.
You hum your agreement, though you're still peering at her searchingly. Eventually, you turn your gaze to the pup in question. While you're here, it probably would be good to check in on him again - who knows, maybe that dip in the water hurt him somehow that you didn't notice? Though The Little checked him over too.
He's wandered a few more paces away, now batting at the ball of insect back and forth in his front paws. He looks a little bored and is glancing around as he's doing it, though; you wonder if he's looking for the other pups to play with now? You probably would be, if you were him - that was why you were so bored once The Broken got apprenticed and your little siblings weren't old enough to play with, after all. You wonder if he knows about pebble toss yet.
Hi, Singer, You say to him, crouching down to his level. Sorry to interrupt your fun with The Olive with some boring talk about how you're doing.
I dunno why you asked her and not me first, anyway, It complains, lashing its tail at you poutily.
You're right, I probably should have, You admit. She was saying hi to me first so I just went right into asking. I didn't think about it. Sorry if I made you feel like I was ignoring you. Let me ask you again, now: how are you doing, Singer? What have you been up to?
The Singer sniffs, but seems slightly mollified. You don't gotta bother with small talk. I heard your whole talk, which was boring by the way. I'm totally fine, I dunno why your pa would want to keep an eye on me. Is it just 'cause I snuck out of camp that one time? Like no one else has ever done that at my age.
He seems to be taking it like The Pale doesn't like him, or thinks he needs to be watched especially for a bad reason. But you know that definitely isn't the case! You raise your paws.
No way, you're totally not in trouble or anything. My dad is just sick and talking weird, remember? But he definitely wasn't sounding like you were in trouble when he said it. He probably wants to keep an eye on you because you've got some potential or something.
The Singer looks puzzled at the bigger word. He also seems to have noticed something else. You said The Spark heard it. How would you know what he sounded like?
Oh, she told me when I asked what kinda tone he was saying it in, of course! Potential means like, what you could do when you're bigger.
What, like maybe he's gonna pick me out to be leader in the future or something? He tries to act disinterested, but with this question there's a shine in his eyes now.
Yeah, exactly! You agree, bobbing your head. I was wondering if he was worried you were sick too, but if you're totally fine then it's probably that he wants everyone to see how good you are at stuff! Like, being smart enough to sneak out of camp at a month old is super hard! So you could totally go cool places, like that.
Now they look really pleased, puffing their little chest out a little. You think so? I mean, of course, obviously, I bet they totally want me to be their apprentice like The Untouched was! But like better! Wait til The Moon hears about this, haha!
You laugh too and nod along, but you notice The Olive still lying on her side and listening to the conversation you've been having with The Singer. She seems even more contemplative than before, and it leaves you wondering what she's taken from this.
Maybe you're reading too much into it. You've been doing nothing but obsess over small things like this or minute changes in your father's breathing all month, after all.
⊗ well, better go see what the wind wants. hopefully it's nothing too taxing at this point.
Yeah... You're really hoping it's not something big and scary or something. You know you're a healer's apprentice, but you're a healer's apprentice! If she has some scratches or something then she probably shouldn't be calling you over when you're out of the den, she should be visiting it so your teacher can actually look over it.
But, it's The Wind. While you're not that close to her, you kind of remember her reaching out to you a lot, the most of the teens at the time - isn't that weird to think about, now that you're a teen - so it might be something nice. You hope.
Hi, Wind, You say wearily to her, plodding with dragging tail up to her. What did you need?
Hey there, Winged, She greets you back, flicking her ears. It's less about what I need and more what you need, haha.
You're a little confused, slow on the uptake, until The Wind reaches over and pinches something against your shoulder, pulling. It's a little uncomfortable, taking fur with it, but what she comes back with is a burr.
You have a good bunch of these stuck to you. I'm guessing you didn't notice because of how, well, everything has been this month? She smiles sympathetically when you twist your ears back and nod a little. C'mere, I'll get those out for you.
You nod again and come closer to her, sidling up to her side before slouching down in front of her. With her standing, you're actually not sure she can reach most of you, but as you think that she sits down on her haunches, too. Right, of course this would take a while - you must have really a lot of them stuck on you. There's no reason for her to keep standing when doing that.
As she starts combing her paws through your fur, you think about your parents again. How they used to do this all the time, but right now are too sick or busy to. You think about The Broken too - she would do this sometimes for you as well. If she was here, instead of The Wind, you're sure she would have instantly grabbed you to clear them off.
Of course, she's busy training too whenever the light is out, so you've mostly been seeing her in the shelter. You can't remember what you've said to her in the last few conversations you've had, though you know you had them. You try to think about that, but The Wind tugs out another burr stuck deep in your fur, taking some clumps with it, and the brief sting of it makes you lose track of your trail of thought.
In the absence of parents and best friend, you haven't been thinking about your fur at all... But a lot of other slugcats here don't have parents. Well, most of them have best friends, though. Not everyone does, but you guess The Bouncy and The Rust take care of it themselves. Or like now, anyone who sees them might stop them to help.
You guess it's nice, knowing that anyone in the clowder is here for you even if you're not so close to them. A big community. That's what The Old Sun said she sought out when she joined a clowder, right? Not being in one sounds like it would be the loneliest thing in the world, then. You think you remember The Storm saying that scavengers and slugcats aren't so different in that sense; you're better in a big group like a clowder. You wonder if maybe she was just saying that because she liked the story of The Stone told in that certain way. But, well, you can't exactly ask her, so it feels a little mean to speculate.
What's been going on with you this month? You ask The Wind, wanting to move your mind off of this topic. You haven't really known what she's been up to since you don't talk as much with her, and she's not an apprentice anymore so you know it's not going to be just "training", like she knows you'd have, or maybe "stressing out over your parents", which is the other thing everyone also knows you have right now.
Oh ho, curious what adult life is like once you graduate? She taps your ear gently, which makes it instinctively flick. Well, let me think what I can even tell you. It's surprisingly hard to think of interesting things to tell when you're doing them every day. Hmm...
I guess it's not too different from your apprentice life as you get older, because you start doing less training and more patrolling. You end up learning a lot of the stuff you need to already, so when that happens you might as well go practice it for real. That's really the best teacher after you hit a certain point, but I'm sure as a healer I don't have to tell you that sort of thing.
It's been a little weird having to do more training again now as a graduate, but doing the teaching instead of the learning! I hope we're all doing a good job for The Gull, but sometimes I think us having different thoughts on how she should do something confuses her. We've tried to tell her to follow whichever one she thinks would suit her best, but she always looks at us like we asked her to defuse a singularity bomb.
I keep telling Untouched we just gotta start deciding on one thing to tell her, but we can still never decide what we should settle on saying! At this rate, I'm gonna start saying we should just leave Sun to say what she's really supposed to do and give her final say. Gull's really her apprentice, after all, even if we keep crowding in to give our opinion.
I kinda wonder if we should give Gull some breathing space to get along properly with Sun honestly. The bond between a mentor and their student can be really special, but since me and Untouched keep hanging out with her, I feel like she might not be getting that.
Maybe she'll just have a special bond with all three of you?
Haha, that's a nice thought. I don't really know, I guess this is all weird and new for her anyway. Ah, I suppose it's new for the clowder too, but that's strange to think about. It feels like this is normal for us, but really it's just your dad making things up as he goes along... We're really the first apprentices the clowder has ever had.
Huh. Yes, that's true - and now you're here, as part of the second batch. You guess it makes sense that there might have been some botches along the way... You still don't know what The Bouncy was talking about, but you know it really did make him feel all messed up that The Storm got assigned as his mentor.
She runs her paws through your fur a final time and nods in satisfaction, giving you a pat on the back of the head to indicate she's done. Okay, I think that's all of them out now. Some of them were quite tangled so we did have to sacrifice quite a few chunks of your fur with it.
The Wind gestures to the small pile of burrs beside you, which clearly does have patches of dark red around it. It's a lot more than strands... Do you have bald spots now? Hopefully they grow back if there are.
You know, if you come out of the healer's part of the shelter and spend a little more time in the clearing, someone's bound to see it and pluck them out for you even if you don't notice. I don't think it's good for you to spend all your time inside worrying over your parents all month.
You're doing the best you can, you know? You'll make yourself sick too at this rate. Everyone needs a break from duties sometimes. Come out and find a distraction more often.
She gives you a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and saunters away.