⊗ WE FORGOT ABOUT OLD SUN!!!!! go see what she eas calling you for
⊗ it's probably fine! you can ask later when you remember.
Hi, Old Sun. You trot up to her. I suddenly remembered that you had been calling for me earlier before, and I forgot to say hi then.
Ach, I'd gotten you a gift because you were such a good little child, but if you're going to forget about me, maybe I shouldn't be giving you treasures for it? It's always sad when a strapping young pup forgets about you, after all. Shouldn't encourage that, She teases you, tone more gentle than it usually is.
Usually, you'd have taken the bait happily, and used this opportunity to throw yourself at her while wailing dramatically. Right now, even though you feel like that's what you should do, what would be normal for you to do, you kind of just don't feel up to it.
You look at her a little sadly, and her expression gentles even more.
Yes, I understand. The Old Sun seems sad too, seeing your face. She leans over and licks across the top of your head, a cleaning swipe like what your mother does. I miss her too. I can't blame you for not feeling up to the kind of play we would have initiated only last month... Ah, it is a shame. It's still very raw, and you're so young...
Grief does take time to heal, yes. But I do hope you'll heal without scars, and be able to play as carefree as you did before.
You look up at her, and lean against her touch. Seeing you need the comfort, she wraps her thick tail around you and nuzzles you.
Old Sun? You've lost people too before, right?
Yes, little one. Of course I have - that comes with growing old, I'm afraid, even when you live with your own family and not a big clowder like this.
You consider this, turning it over in your mind. That's right, you'd heard before that she had lived alone with only her family, before joining the clowder. And she has her granddaughter, but...
What happened to New Sun's parents?
Ah. She looks off into the distance, her ears drooping slightly. Yes. My daughter... As I said, young Storm reminded me of her. I had given her the title The Fleck, for the cute freckles that she had when her pelt grew in. It felt as if I merely blinked, and she went from a pup to an adolescent, to a strong young slugcat.
We lived alone in our own shelter, exploring our charter of territory for what we needed. Her other parent wasn't someone I ever met again. I'm not sure I even recall their title. I had been a wanderer, you see, and so had they - I only settled down when I knew for certain I had an egg coming.
I think The Little has told you before, how a slugcat without a clowder must still look for their own food even when nesting. Yes, I held little Fleck's egg in my pouch, safe and sound, as I hunted for enough food to sustain me.
What about when she hatched? You blink at her. What did you do then?
Well, I took care to stock the shelter with a lot of food. I knew that when my pup was just born I would need to stay there and keep them warm, so I was careful to make sure I had gathered more than enough for myself by the time she hatched. Oh yes, that was a strange few cycles, to just about stay inside my small den, wrapped around my pup in a nest.
She wasn't quite as resistant of authority as The Storm... But, I suppose there was only her and I, so there wasn't truly much authority to resist in any case. I alternated between taking her with me, paw in my paw, or putting her on my back - I tried to leave her alone at the shelter, sometimes, but oh, the trouble she got into when I left her!
The Old Sun laughs, fondness glimmering in her eyes. Yes, she discovered quite a few pup-sized pipes around that shelter that I had no idea were there. I suppose with no siblings or playmates, she was quite bored when I left her in the shelter... So eventually I simply took her with me wherever I went.
She was very confident, my Fleck. She knew when she wanted something, and she knew what she'd do to get it. I suppose that's why when that specific stranger wandered in, when she was all grown up, she knew she wanted them, and that she was going to woo them or embarrass herself trying.
Did you have many strangers pass by your territory?
Ah, not too often, but not too little, either. Perhaps one every couple of months? There are a lot of us slugcats out here, I imagine... Sometimes, we would see a slugcat or slugcats in trouble from a predator, and we certainly did our best to help, though neither of us were much in the way of fighters.
The Flower wasn't one such individual - they had simply been passing by when the rumbling rain came. In fact, they seemed quite surprised by how intense the shaking was, and we had to quickly guide them back to our den! They said that they were born in a clowder far away, and hadn't experienced rain that could crush people before this. They had come out into the world to explore, and I suppose they received their fair share of that!
Well, I didn't expect to keep my daughter at home forever. When she wanted to leave with them to explore for some length of time as well, I agreed... After a bit of cautioning her, and reminding her of things to watch out for, and other such things. I told her I'd be here waiting for her when she wanted to come back, and sent them off with my regards.
Oh no! You say, eyes widening. And then they went on a dangerous adventure they never came back from, leaving you The Sun to raise alone?
She laughs a little. Not quite that! I'm afraid that's more in the realm of stories. No, they did come back. Oh, the stories they told me about their adventures... Well. They named The Sun after me, you know. It was in the tradition of The Flower's clowder, I'm told, though why they name their children so confusingly I'm not quite sure.
She grows sober. No, I'm afraid what killed them was fairly mundane, as it comes to us slugcats. Predators picking off my daughter's mate, then her, as she attacked recklessly in her grief. There were lizards, you see - not pack ones, no, but a pole and a wall lizard. They were common where we lived.
I know it must have been something like this, though I wasn't there to see it... I was taking care of young Sunshine, while they were gathering food. I had gotten on in years, when they'd been out in the world, and I felt every one of them when they didn't come back to the shelter all day.
I couldn't leave Sunrise alone, of course, but I didn't want her to see what I would. She was a little too young to talk yet, so I'm not sure she would have understood either way... But I wanted to be sure. I kept her head cupped close to my chest, when I looked for them. Oh, it was a wretched sight.
I found The Flower's body, still close to the open jaws of a dead wall lizard. Dear Fleck, I never found a trace of... But with blood everywhere, and pink scales, I knew that it had to be that another lizard took her when her guard was down.
You know, I never told them, but I do wish I could have explored with them as well. But, ah, they were experiencing young love, so I never wanted to intrude. I supposed I had my time before I settled in that shelter.
You sit in silence after this, absorbing the story. You're not sure what you expected to hear, knowing that it must have been something with no good fate, but having heard the story, and what happened to The Sun's - both of The Sun's - family, you feel awful.
Loss is loss, no matter what. Even after this much time, you can hear the haunt of grief in The Old Sun's voice now. You wondered if she could have any different advice for how to deal with it than The Rust... But now you wonder if every adult has pain like this, and you just didn't notice.
Ah, but I suppose that wasn't very good at cheering you up, was it? She flaps her ears, noticing your expression. No matter, no matter. I still have my gift for you, you know.
She rises to her feet, tail unwrapping from around you as she begins to hobble off - turning around only to beckon you with a paw.
Come, come, The Sun says. You'll have to follow me out of the camp for it, but it won't be too far.
You are curious. You get up as well to follow her, as she guides you first out of the camp and then down to an area that has less sand and more grass. As you're looking around at the grassy patch, The Sun coos, a sound you've never heard before, and retrieves some bubble fruit from her pouch.
To your surprise, a small, furry creature pokes its head out, nose twitching busily. It looks at you with wide, dark eyes, then back at The Sun. She places the fruit in your hand and has you lay down with your paw outstretched - slow and cautious, the animal eventually approaches you to begin nibbling at the food.
This is a different kind of lantern mouse - I think of them as lantern rabbits! She says to you, pleased to see your rapt expression. We slugcats certainly could and do eat them as normal as any lantern mouse, but I've seen a handful kept in clowders as pets. If you feed them such treats as fruit, they'll like you quite a bit. You shouldn't feed them too many, ho ho. They mostly eat grass, you see - so very easy to feed for us.
And it's for me?
Yes, quite! When I saw this young kit months ago on a walk, I thought it would make quite the fine pet for someone in the clowder, if I kept visiting to take care of it - and you can see it is quite used to us slugcats.
My Sunlight has never expressed an interest in pets, but I've seen how much you liked playing with and taking care of the bugs you found - so I thought that this might be something you would want. But be gentle with it. Think of it like my granddaughter; it's quiet and likes when things aren't too sudden, too loud.
If you spend more time with it, I'm sure you can eventually bring it into camp, too.
You reach out to the busily eating lantern rabbit and touch a paw to its ear. It flicks it out of your reach and steps away, so you tuck your paw back under yourself. It looks at you from the new distance it's at, and then looks at The Old Sun - but eventually, it comes back to resume eating.
You think you'll have to ask her a lot about this animal if you're going to take care of one...! And if this was a gift to give you something else to focus on, well... She definitely succeeded.
You wonder what you should name it?
You now have access to the Inventory page.
This is a list showing all of the accessories / pets you have, as well as where and when you received it. You can choose to bring these out at any time, or wear them in whatever combination you please. The next image of you will show these changes until you decide to switch again.
As the rabbit is currently being kept outside of the clowder, it is not currently being shown as part of your sprite other than in the above image. This can be changed later when desired.
⊗ we ARE so good at mediating it's true. but maybe we could help out in other ways? we should go to the bouncy and talk to them about it. maybe they need help right now!
⊗ talk to bouncy, they might appreciate someone talking to them, either to comfort them or just take their mind off it or even just talk out how they're feeling in general
Hi Bouncy, You say, trotting up to them. Why are you all curled up like that? Are you cold?
He almost doesn't seem to notice you at first. His arms are folded around his body, legs drawn in. His tail wraps around them, not even twitching. Wherever he's looking, it's not at anything you can see.
Bouncy?
This time, he stirs. He doesn't look at you, though he doesn't need to; he can smell and hear you just fine.
It feels as if life was warmer, They say, slowly. When The Storm's fire was around. Now it is just me, and I'm nothing but cold.
That's no good. You lean up against them and wrap your arms around The Bouncy in a big hug, trying to wrap as much of your body around them as you can.
I'm sorry, You say, helpless. I wish there was a way to bring her back.
There isn't, They reply, voice dead. The reincarnation cycle everyone talks of has long been gone. Sometimes, I wonder if it was ever real, or just a story to satisfy grieving pups. But I know there are slugcats who still know impossible things to learn because of it.
You don't know what to say to that. You don't know how to help him at all, other than to cling on to him and hope your hug can warm him up even a little. You think about how there are different ways that you could try to make him feel better, but you're not sure where to start, or what to say.
Do you wanna talk about your feelings? You try.
Not really, Bouncy replies. His tone is still flat, but there's a tiny hint of dryness to it. You wonder if he found it funny, at least, and hope so.
There's another silence, and then they speak up again.
This isn't the first time I've lost someone, unlike you. My parent died too, and that ache still hasn't left. Yet somehow, this feels like it hurts more, for being on top of that. That doesn't feel fair, does it? I left to get away from the all-consuming mark their passing left on my life, and now I'm back where I started. Should I leave here, too? Certainly, I've made little more friends here than I did in my past life.
I'm still alone. I wasn't, for a while, but it came back to this in the end. A give and then the take, just when things seemed brighter again.
I would miss you if you left, You say, dogged. You didn't like him at first for being mean, but he's been a lot less so lately. Plus, he's so sad right now - if he was a little mean now, it wouldn't be weird, right?
You can't imagine losing one of your parents. The idea of it being someone you loved so much, someone you knew even better than you knew The Storm, your mother or your father passing away, or your siblings, or The Broken, makes something curdle in your stomach. The idea of losing The Broken and a parent makes it shrivel.
You still remember him talking about how alone he was, how many shelters he'd broken. You can't blame the others for not wanting to hang out with him while he was mean, but if he's nice now, surely he could make friends with them again? The trio are close, but they still have other friends. They like The Olive, and they liked The Storm.
The Storm has been the only friend I've ever had. The Bouncy finally looks at you. She knew things no other knew about me, as I did her. You and I, maybe I could call us companions. But you're so much younger than me, a mere pup. It would be different, you know.
You're a bit hurt by him saying you're "just" a pup, but you try to be understanding. You just thought it wouldn't be weird if he was a little rude, right? So you can be forgiving; he said you and him could be companions, after all. It's hard for you to really understand why it would be different, for him to confide in you the way he had confided in The Storm.
So you change the subject, instead.
Do you want to talk about something else?
He shrugs. You take this as the 'whatever' it seems to be and try to think of something to tell him.
Did you know The Gull has been hanging out with The Broken recently? You say. Broken is a little confused about why, but they're the only two apprentices right now, so I guess it makes sense. They gotta do a lot of stuff together while training.
She keeps saying she wants to hang out with me instead, not me AND Gull. I asked her if Gull was really that bad, 'cause I haven't actually gotten to hang out with Gull, and she said well no, she just misses when she could talk to me without someone who doesn't know what we're talking about trying to follow her.
Hm, Bouncy says. This seems to catch a tiny bit of his interest - you guess it makes sense, because it must have something to do with his mediator job. The Gull is a newcomer, having broken away from her clowder to join. She is, in all essence, alone. It's only reasonable that, seeing someone that's her peer, she wants to latch on to them.
At the same time, The Gull's personality and what she's been taught must be strange to The Broken, who was raised here. The excessive formality and the caution in always calling her "The" Broken must put her off to some extent.
She says Gull also keeps talking to her about fighting people, You add. She seems really excited to learn more about using spears.
Doesn't your little sister also want to try using spears? They glance at the entrance to the shelter, though you can't see her there. You're not sure if she's out in the clearing or in the nursery right now. It isn't too strange, as far as wishing to learn things goes.
Yeah, she's a little beast, You smile a little. She's so scared of so much stuff, I think she'd jump all over someone and bite them or something.
You don't like imagining her in a real fight at all, so you think about what she might do during training. Can you bite during training? Probably if you make it light, so it doesn't really hurt.
I suppose it might just be a transitory period that The Broken requires. I'm sure your encouragement would also help, since you're her friend - if you encourage her to give The Gull a chance, I'm sure it would assist her in settling into the clowder better.
What about you? Since you're both from another clowder, you could be friends, right? You're curious, because you've noticed that The Bouncy used to go out of their way to avoid her - walking into the shelter when she was in the clearing, leaving to go on a walk when she was in the shelter...
You think the only reason he stopped is because he's been too sad to bother doing anything, after The Storm. He doesn't even look as well-groomed as he usually does, which is weird for someone as neat and tidy as he is.
He grimaces a little. I am not her peer, and she wouldn't see me as such. You, The Winged, are from here, and have little concern for propriety or reverence. This makes it easier for you to talk to people, because you have less social norms to care about. She, on the other hand, would not react in such a way.
You guess that makes sense. They both talk really stiff and proper, and pretty funny sometimes, too.
... I do appreciate you coming to check on me, The Bouncy adds, unwinding just a bit to touch his tail to yours. Thank you. But if it's all the same to you, I'd like to be alone again right now. Come check on me again later, if you'd like.
That was a lot nicer way for him to tell you to go away than you'd have thought he'd be able to say. He also said you could come back later, so you resolve to check on him again then.
You don't quite get wanting to be alone, but you can at least respect it. With an obedient little nod and another hug, you let go of him and wander off to another part of camp.
⊗ let's talk to the broken. how is she doing?
Hi Broken. You pull her into a hug as you approach her, wrapping yourself around her. Are you doing okay?
Oh, hey Winged. She puts her arms around you back, squeezing you a little in the hold. You lay your tail on hers, and she flicks it under you.
Yeah, I'm okay. She lets go and steps back a little, so you can look at each other better. Her paw goes up to touch at the centipede shell dangling from her ear, and you wonder if she's used to the weight of it hanging there yet or not. I mean, yeah, I miss The Storm, and I know you do too, 'cause she was a clowder member. She was our friend. But, like, she wasn't my best friend or anything. I wasn't as close to her as Bouncy or The Olive or anything, you know?
So I'm doing alright. While they're all grieving and stuff, the rest of us clowder members have to keep going, you know? Life's still passing, and we still gotta get food and make sure no predator's gonna swoop in or anything. I figure, if I work hard, then they'll have the time to mourn Storm properly. Least I could do for 'em, right?
So I just gotta stay strong.
You're not 100% sure if she's telling the truth or not, about being okay - but then, you're not totally okay either, and you're still mostly normal, because... What else can you do?
And you think it does make sense, that everyone still needs to eat and not be eaten, that with the other two sick at heart there's a little more work to be put in. So you guess she's just thinking about the here and now. Even if you do both still miss The Storm, it isn't the end of the world for you - your worlds, after all, are still here.
⊗ what's going on with the gull and the broken? it's probably fine! you can ask later when you remember.
Do you remember last month, when you were talking with Gull in camp?
Huh? She perks her ears up, then lets them fall back down. I mean, doesn't that happen all the time? She's always talking to me, I'm not gonna remember one conversation out of a buttload.
You try to think about how to jog her memory. I wasn't there for that one, 'cause I was standing on that spear someone stabbed into the clearing, remember? So I was watching you from up there.
Which is totally normal and not weird, She quips. You shove her, and she flicks her tail in amusement. But yeah, I guess that gives me a little more to go off of. I think I recall you perched up there, but what happened that day...? I don't really remember, I don't think anything important went on.
She was doing a hand motion like this, You explain, turning your paw pad-up and slamming your other, clenched paw into it. I wanna know what it meant.
Oh! This time The Broken twitches her ears in recognition, and sits a little straighter. That conversation. Yeah, I know the one you mean now. She was like, talking to me about grenades. How she wished that we had a good crafter here like the other clowder, so that we could have a bunch stored in our shelter.
Which is pretty dangerous, if you ask me; I've heard your dad talking about it before, if you hit them too hard they can go off. He was talking about how he doesn't really think caches like that are smart, because piling them together is asking for trouble. Especially since we just have one big shelter where everyone sleeps - what are we gonna do if a pup gets it in their head to smash it with a rock, right?
You really wouldn't put it past The Spark to be so stressed out by knowing there's a grenade stored somewhere that she went to hunt it down and then took it outside to break it. You shiver, pelt prickling at the thought.
Yeah, exactly. She nods at your expression. Anyway, The Gull was talking to me about how if we had a grenade or two, or more, then we wouldn't have to worry about that stupid pack lizard that apparently is STILL hanging around, considering how The Wild had to fight it off again.
She was talking about how if she could get close to it and just, toss it in its mouth, then that would make sure it'd be so dead, even its parents would cringe. That's why she was banging her paws together like that.
That makes sense - and with that, Broken's response is also clearer to you. It's the same feeling she's showing while she's talking now; she just isn't so sure about that! Plus, wouldn't it blow a bunch up if you put it in something like a mouth? That sounds like you wouldn't even be able to eat it after it died, because it'd just be smithereens and scraps of meat.
Have you got to sparring with her yet? The Rain was talking about how he thinks you're both ready to test your mettle against each other now, right? I wonder if that's a thing we call it because of how hard metal is? Are you testing how hard your spears are against each other?
I dunno, maybe that's what mettle is? But a lot of fighting is going to be weaponless, that's what we got taught. She shrugs. You can't always find a spear out there, you know?
But yeah, we actually got our first sparring session done today.
And? You lean forward, ears perked. How good at fighting was she?
Oh yeah, she was a beast. The Broken shakes her head, folding her arms and leaning back a little. I dunno if all that clowder is like that or if it's just her, but it's like she doesn't even know how to be afraid! Does she not realise we're also prey animals?
She was completely fearless. Like, I'm taller than her and bigger, right, and I'm bearing down on her - but she doesn't even flinch or back up, or stay still! She's throwing herself at me like SHE'S the one with a size advantage, and she uses her teeth!
Don't you also use your teeth? You tilt your head, remembering the one time you saw Broken sparring.
Well, sure, but I use it like, alongside the rest of my body, like my paws and my tail. We have soft paws, so it's not like punching predators twice our size is gonna do much, obviously using our teeth is just smart thinking. But she was using it as her main weapon, you get me? Like, I'd be pinning her to the sand and she's wriggling and kicking under me like a ferret, trying to lunge up and get her teeth onto my throat!
You're struck by a horrible thought. She was gonna try and kill you?
What? Oh, no, of course not. She makes sure to tuck her lips over and bite down gently so it's just mouthing like the rest of us sparring, but I really don't like getting her spit all over my fur all the time. My neck is gonna be damp forever if she's going to fight like this every time we spar.
It's like, she doesn't waste a second and she doesn't hesitate at all. The chips are down and she's going all in, all the time. What I mean is, I'm pretty sure if you play like that against the adults, you immediately lose the game.
She huffs, tapping one foot against the ground impatiently as her tail swishes. Like, she doesn't guard herself at all. She's going to get herself insta-killed if she does that in a real fight against a way bigger enemy. She barely thinks of dodging, you know? She wiggles around fast, yeah, but she's not doing it while thinking about what you might hit her with next, she's just flailing.
Wow! You're pretty impressed. I didn't know you learnt all of that already from your training.
She sniffs, but she looks pleased. Well, it's been weeks of every day training, I'd hope I know some of my stuff by now. I'm 8 months old now, you know.
And she's 7, The Broken continues. So she's not been going as long as me, but surely she's gotta know that offensive isn't all of it. Sure, she was getting me half the time, but the other half I'm bowling her over! And I bet that's gonna be even more next time we spar, 'cause aggressive surprise isn't gonna work if your opponent isn't, like, surprised.
Well, it's pretty much like she's got three mentors, so maybe she'll learn soon? Or you could tell her everything you just said to me.
What! Why would I do that? She unfolds her arms just to fold them again, for emphasis. I already hang out with her enough for training, I'd rather be hanging out with you out of it.
I wanna hang out with you too! You reply, pleased as always every time she emphasises that you're her friend. But The Gull's probably real lonely and stuff, you know? She doesn't know anyone here, like you when you were a pup and you just joined, 'cept she's even older. It kinda seems like when you're older, it's not as easy to make friends anymore.
Ugh, She complains. I know you're right, and maybe she'd appreciate someone to hang out with too. But she talks like Bouncy. Sky be with him and all of that, I mean, I do feel bad for him.
You could go feel bad for Gull too! You wiggle your ears at her. She wiggles hers back - or, well, she wiggles one. The other one can't quite manage it. You could just hang out with me and her at the same time, I think it could be fun to get to know her together. She's off on patrol or training on her own without you quite a bit too, so we still get lots of time together.
She makes a face. Okay, fine. I guess I'll talk a little more to her, since it's you asking. It doesn't hurt. She could get other people killed trying to save her dumb butt from getting killed if she fights like this out on patrol, anyway.
You smile at The Broken, and pull her into another hug. She grumbles and rolls her eyes - you can tell even like this because she's rolling her whole head at you - but hugs you back.
⊗ please we need to feed and adopt this bunny immediately. lets call it something cool like.... pearl!
⊗ ask spark and light to help you come up w bnuuy names...
⊗ SECONDING ^
You think about the name Pearl for the lantern rabbit. Pearls are meant to be pretty cool, so maybe that would be a good name for it? You try to remember what colour pearls are, though. Since the bunny is pink, would the name fit? You're not really sure.
You're not sure your siblings will know anything more about pearls than you do, but maybe they'll have different thoughts for names. You don't have any better thoughts in mind, so it's with a decisive nod that you decide to go see wherever the two of them have gone off to, and collect them both to ask this very important question.
They have to be in camp, of course - or, you know, they're supposed to be. You vaguely remember wanting to sneak out of camp when you were their age, so you're not totally sure if they will be, but you're also still not allowed to leave camp anyway, and a pup probably can't leave camp that easy, since there's always adults around.
You check the shelter first because it feels like it'll be easier to find them there - your father looks up mid-groom, leg up and tongue still out, but when you shake your head he twitches his ears and goes back to cleaning himself. The Rust and The Amber are in the nursery, as are their pups, and The Little is cleaning their den nests. No wayward siblings here, so you go back to the clearing.
There's enough slugcats in the clearing, and enough different colours, that it's a little hard to see where your little brother and sister could be. Trying to sniff them out is a little easier, though not by much - there's a lot of scents in the air too, everyone's mingled.
You're not exactly a tracker, so it's hard not to get distracted with the smell of The Broken having passed by, or The Wind having brought some tasty smelling batflies back for snacks; while you know they're out and around a lot, it can be harder to keep on paw than a lot of other food, since they don't seem to do well being stored for some reason.
Eventually, you manage to catch The Spark's smell, sharp with anxiety as usual, tinged with something else pointed, and track it to a small alcove off the main clearing that she and The Light are sitting at. Her paws are digging into the sand, each finger curled to create scratch-like furrows. She's scowling at The Light with her ears flattened, who's looking back at her just as upset, eyes big and wet. You can tell immediately that you've wandered into some kind of argument.
— all you do is talk about The Stone, She's in the middle of snapping. I don't care about them! I don't wanna hear stories anymore.
But, but, why? He says, helpless. He sounds like he's already asked this before, and doesn't understand any more now. Why are you mad at me? You never used to yell... You u-used to like them too!
As a big sibling, you're pretty sure this is your cue to butt in now that you're here. You push yourself the rest of the way out of the curtain of grass, letting the rustle of your body against it catch both of their attention.
Wiwi! The Light immediately takes the opportunity to wail, running towards you and latching on to your leg as he buries his face against your side. Spark is being m-mean! She said The, The Stone is stupid! And she hates it! And she wanted me to sh-shut up!
The Spark doesn't say anything, just looks mulish and angry. She keeps tearing at the ground with her forepaws, digging up gashes on the earth.
You put your own paw on Light's head, and stroke between his ears like you've seen Mama do. You don't think you're quite as good at it, but it must still be working okay, because he relaxes a little against you.
'Kay, You say, now that he's not about to burst into tears on you. Spark? Do you wanna talk about your feelings?
No, She bites off, tail whipping.
She hurt MY feelings, The Light says, plaintively.
I know, Light, You say, patting him on the head again. It wasn't real nice of her to say that when she knows you like them, but she's gotta have said it for some reason. Is it because of that thing you said, you don't want to hear stories anymore, Spark?
...Yeah, She says, grudgingly. She still doesn't look up at you, but her paws still. I don't want anyone to talk about them anymore. No one else can talk about them good. So they should shut up.
Because they can't tell 'em as well as The Storm? You take a guess.
Your little sister flinches at the name, and you know that has to be it. You feel your own ears drooping in sympathy, and you walk over, Light still glued to your side, to scoop her out of the dirt and hug her. She dangles limply in your arms, and eventually, begins to cry against you.
This makes your brother start crying too.
Why didn't you just t-tell meeeeee! He sobs, reaching over to grab one dirty back paw. I miss her lots and lots too, you didn't- you didn't have to say mean things!
I didn't wanna h-hear you talk about it, She sniffles back, not even kicking her leg out or resisting his grip even though you know she normally hates him grabbing her feet. 'Cause it just makes me think, I miss S-Storm. It hurts. I don't want to hurt. I don't wanna hear it.
Then I'll talk about s-something else! The Light keeps bawling while he talks, eyes shining with more tears as they track down his cheeks. I'll make up a new, a new story, or I'll ask o-one of the newcomers, about a story from them! I'll make up something, a-and then, it won't be a story The Storm told us.
'M sorry I called you stupid, She's not crying any less, breath gasping in with her hiccups and messy weeping. You're not stupid. You're my brother. I just wanted you to st-stop talking.
It's okay. I'm sorry I hurt you talking about The Stone. He wipes his runny nose on the back of his arm. The fur sticks, and you're just glad he didn't put that on your pelt. You're already getting wet enough...You're glad they're saying sorry to each other and crying it out and all of that, but yuck!
I was actually looking for you two 'cause Old Sun got me a pet, You say. This gets their attention exactly as much as you were hoping it would. Though their faces are still wet, they both look up at you with their big eyes.
What's a pet?
It's another animal but we don't eat it, You explain. And it doesn't eat us either, 'cause it likes us. It can be big or small - sometimes people get pet lizards and stuff.
You think about how The Storm was the one who explained that to you too, and feel the pang of loss all over again. The way your little siblings miss her so much that it made this whole thing happen, and the way that now you can't ask her what things are anymore...
But Old Sun got me a bunny rabbit.
What's a rabbit?
I'll show you!
You turn around from the little clearing with its upturned dirt and, with one sibling in your arms and one attached to your hip, make your difficult walk across the rest of camp. Your mother notices you struggling with your little siblings - they're smaller than you but you're not quite a teenager yet, so it's still pretty hard work for you to carry even one of them! - and helpfully plucks The Spark out of your arms.
Hello, children, She says fondly, wiping The Spark's face with her fingers. You are all so good at getting dirty. You'll need to take a bath later.
The Spark responds with a squeal at this news and pushes at your mother's chest with her dirty paws - which starts turning muddy now with the addition of milk.
Hi Mama, You say, adjusting The Light's death grip on you so that he's holding onto your paw instead. I'm trying to show them a lantern mouse.
But you said rabbit, The Spark complains. We know what a lantern mouse is.
Oh? The Silky seems intrigued. Yes, a lantern rabbit is a kind of lantern mouse, but they're so named for their resemblance to true rabbits. It isn't, technically, a rabbit. What did you find, Winged?
Old Sun got me a pet lantern rabbit! You puff out your chest. She said it's my pet! And I can name it and feed it and bring it back to camp when it likes me more!
I wanna see it, The Light says, tail wagging.
That's nice of her! Your mother smiles down at you all. I'm afraid it's best you little ones wait until your sister can bring it into camp though, or perhaps next month when he's becoming an apprentice himself.
She's still not allowed out without supervision right now, and neither are you two; I think it would rather be asking a bit much of our elder to take the responsibility of watching three unruly pups for a walk outside of camp.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Your younger siblings chorus in complaint.
Besides, lantern mice are very scared, and need a very gentle touch! She continues. So if you want to not scare one, you need to practise at not being loud, and petting very lightly, okay?
Okay, Mama, The Spark sighs, defeated.
You frown, a little disappointed. But you guess that makes sense - they're prey animals after all, even more than slugcats are, because slugcats eat them sometimes. Even you've had lantern mouse before. So of course they'd be very scared of everything, since they're so easy to eat.
You wonder how hard it will be to get one to like you enough to follow you into a camp full of slugcats?
⊗ lets talk to the gull!!! friendship time
Yeah, that's right. You can't just keep pushing The Broken to talk to her - if you want her to start making friends, YOU could be her friend as well. Which means that you should start conversations with her too, and let her know that you actually want to talk to her, and get to know her and stuff.
You look around the clearing for her, and find her sitting by herself, methodically eating through a lantern mouse. You're a little surprised that she isn't sitting with her mentor/s, because you can see the three of them not far off eating as well... But you're not a teenager, so what do you know!
You think you remember The Bouncy saying at one point that he didn't think your mentor could be your friend; maybe that's why The Gull's decided not to sit with them?
As you get closer, she lifts her muzzle out of her meal, blood dripping off her face. This isn't really that weird, because eating something big like a lantern mouse can get messy, so you don't think much of it until you look down and realise how thoroughly chewed through and crushed-looking the mouse is; you wonder if she found the leftovers of some other predator's catch?
Hi Gull, You say, deciding to not worry about that for now. How're you doing? How are you finding the clowder?
She swallows, and swipes her tongue out to clean around her mouth.
Hello, She says neutrally - you think she's not quite sure what to make of your approach, and is trying to figure out why you're here. I'm doing fine enough, though I find it a bit, maybe awkward is the right way to convey it. There's something to be said about joining a clowder and then having someone immediately die right after. May her spirit sleep peacefully, of course, but I didn't know anything about her so you must understand that I can't feel the same grief you all are experiencing. You're The Winged.
Yeah, that's me. You think about if you want to say anything in response to her comment about The Storm's passing, but you decide you don't really have anything to add to that. Like she said, she didn't know Storm at all. How could she be sad about them? It'd be weird to be mad about that, and you guess you don't really know how to react otherwise. It just feels... Wrong, that someone could not feel sad about her passing. But she didn't know her.
Instead, you tilt your head at her. How come you're not talking all fancy right now?
D'you think I'm supposed to? She gives you another once-over. You might be the leader's child, but you're still only a pup. I don't see the need, given you're not my senior.
You can just switch it on and off like that? You're amazed. You've never really seen Bouncy stop talking the way that he does, even to you, even though he doesn't add the "sir"s and other respectful terms with you.
Sure! She scoffs and tosses her head. Everyone could in the clowder. You're meant to talk to different people differently, after all, so why wouldn't they have different modes depending on the person's ranking?
You guess that makes sense - even without talking the way she does, you'd totally speak differently to your parents compared to The Rust, after all, and you'd certainly chat to him different from The Broken, obviously, or The Rain, because you have different feelings about all of them.
I came here 'cause I wanted to make friends, You explain, frank and honest. You're old enough now that you know there's other ways to try to make friends, and you do wonder if that would work better for some people - but you also just feel like saying it outright is simply easier. Now she knows what you're here for.
Oh, She replies, after an off-guard pause. Well, I don't really know you, so I'm not really going to just say yes, even if you're the leader's offspring. But I'm not saying that as a no either. Let's talk more at least, and then we'll see.
Hey, that sounds fair enough to you. You lift up your further-most finger while curling the rest of your paw into a fist at her, and make a chitter of agreement.
The Gull puts the lantern mouse down fully and looks at you expectantly. You think this is smart of her, because you're definitely going to ask her so many questions that she's not going to have time to keep eating anyway.
What was it like in your old clowder?
Well... Different. Everything was laid out very clearly and simply for you, and your schedule for what you were planning to do each day was something you had figured out ahead of time. You would know whether you had patrol that day, and if so, when you would be going on it. Or if you were training, where you would be going to train, and who with - so you'd also know what you'd be learning that day, too.
Of course, you could ask for specific lessons too; like The Shining offered to teach us combat tricks, so I took that time with him and he could plan the rest of that day around it. Everyone's so spontaneous here, and I never know what my lesson of the day is going to be, or whether I'm going out or not...
I'm not suggesting The New Sun, The Wind, or The Untouched don't know what they're doing, of course! She adds quickly, wiping her mouth on the back of one arm. I'm sure they've carefully calculated the best education route they can think of for me, but I just don't know it myself.
I don't really know how mentoring apprentices works either, You muse thoughtfully, rubbing your chin the way you've seen The Little do. You're New Sun's first time teaching, so I guess they might be winging it at least a lil bit. Your clowder sounds like it has lots of systems set up and stuff. But Papa is our first leader, 'cause we're such a new clowder.
It's strange to think about, but I suppose you're right. She tilts her head. I know our clowder existed long before The Saviour. There's stories about what happened in our past, but so many of them include The Saviour, it was like they were there for all of it. Obviously not all of them would have been about them in reality, blessed though their spirit may be, but I wouldn't know which ones were changed.
How come you left your clowder, anyway? People probably ask you that a lot though.
Oh yes, that's been the #1 question for sure. She slaps her tail against the ground, just a bit amused. Still, I understand why. I've been curious about other slugcats that joined my old clowder, too. I just never thought it'd be my turn on this end.
Well, you were there, so I know you heard it. Pup attention spans being what they are, I'll tell you again in case you forgot. I joined your father's clowder because The Saviour has always approved of The Pale, and I would rather become part of a new clowder that follows The Saviour's spirit. I can continue to follow their word here, and feel at peace for it.
I tried talking about it in my clowder before I did something so dramatic as running away from home, actually. It was a bit of a struggle, making sure I had the right procedure, but I asked for a private meeting with one of the council members, and told her that The Shining's new rules broke The Saviour's old ones.
She said something about how, The Saviour has always said our highest priority is to survive, and they've passed on now, so it's a new era. As we've seen from strangers attacking us, there's a new kind of danger. Doesn't it follow that there's a new order to it?
The Gull folds her arms stubbornly. But even if it makes sense... That's not right, and a council member of all things should know that - we're completely leaving behind their ways. I didn't know how to argue with her, and it isn't my place to. But to just say, well now things are different and we have to survive this way instead, it feels like twisting their words to suit.
That's why I left. I'm not going to argue with someone my senior, and I'm sure she has her reasons - but I also don't have to agree with them!
What about your family? You tilt your head. Did you have any?
She hesitates. Well... Yeah.
But they didn't come with you. You're all by yourself and you don't know anyone here. Isn't that lonely?
She frowns. Hey, is this really your idea of making friends? I know I'm new to the clowder and all, and I don't know how you talk to each other, but do you really pry so much with each other?
You lift your paws up and pat at her, placating without actually touching. Well, you don't gotta answer if you don't want to. I was just wondering. I'd be really sad if I had to leave my family, so I wanted to know if it was different for you.
The Gull huffs, flicking her ears at you in annoyance. Yeah, I really don't want to talk about that to someone I don't know anything about, if that's all the same to you. That's way too weirdly personal.
She's about to say more, but looks up with a jolt when she sees movement out of the corner of her eye - you look too, because you saw the same motion. The New Sun and her friends have gotten to their feet, and she makes eye contact with her apprentice before beckoning her over.
Ah, we're doing something? She looks from the lantern mouse at her side back to her mentor, tail tip tapping in mounting dismay. We already did training today, so I thought it was all over. Curses, I wouldn't have let you distract me and eaten faster if I knew that we had something else planned.
I suppose we'll have to continue this conversation later, The Winged. Be seeing you.
She bobs her head at you, a quick up and down of her body, before snatching up her half-eaten meal and running off to join the adults. She's clearly explaining her situation to them, holding up her prey and then flicking her tail at you. You wave at her.
You see The Untouched's shoulders shake as he laughs a little, and The Wind shoves him. The New Sun nods and says something in return, which relaxes the tension winding in The Gull. She nods back and puts part of the lantern mouse into her mouth, starting to chew again.
They walk off to depart camp at a far more sedate pace than you usually see them walking off at, so you guess it's so The Gull can finish her lunch. You wonder if you'll be so busy that you'll be going off on patrols still eating when you become The Little's apprentice?